Black: I am an African-American woman. I’m a Black woman. I’m a Woman of Color. Label me whatever you want. I live my race every day because of the color of my skin and the place where I’ve chosen to live. My race is front and center in many of my relationships, including my marriage, and it is something that will not change. And I don’t want it to. My race, though, is a blessing as well as a liability. For me and for my sons. That’s an uncomfortable thing to write and to read, but it’s the truth. I try to write about it in the best way that I can. I have to navigate my race and their race in thoughtful ways. That’s hard in today’s context and where we’ve chosen to build a life. It’s possible (I think), but it will be challenging to help them create proud, profound, beautiful and strong identities in this place. But that’s my job, and I take it seriously.
Bunched: My sons, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, are 15 months apart in age. That wasn’t the plan, but that’s how the universe decided to package them for me. It makes for a lot of work, a lot of drama, a lot of stress and, yes, a lot of joy. Two boys, bunched together as close as they can be without being twins… my goodness. God gives you the challenges He knows you can handle… sometimes, though, I wonder where He expects me to get the patience and grace to handle it!
Mass: As in, Massachusetts. I’m a proud daughter of the Old Line State, but I’m a landowning, tax paying, entrenched resident of the Bay State. And it’s… a lot. Because it doesn’t matter how long I live here or how much of myself I choose to give this place, New Enganders make room for few “others.” It will be 10 years of living here come 2016.
Mom: The identity that is most prominent in my life right now. Society expects my Motherhood identity to even trump my Black one. I’m a stay-at-home mother, so motherhood doesn’t really end for me. There are expectations for me to perform from the time I wake up until I go to bed. Cramming any other identity into my day (like writer, blogger, crafter, friend, dreamer… etc, etc) brings on guilt that is often self-imposed. I’m a mother in the suburbs, which means I spend a lot of time in my car, at school or school functions, prepping for the next child-centered activity, navigating the feelings of adults and their children, and praying that all of the decisions that I make now don’t have negative impacts on my children later. I’m doing my best, understanding that most of my “best” will go unthanked, even unnoticed… I do it just as much for me as I do it for them.
I’m a Millennial, I’m middle-class, I’m highly educated and I’m ambitious. This makes me a lot of things to a lot of people. When I’m walking down the street in my suburban Massachusetts town, most people see none of that at all. They see… other things…
I write honestly because I don’t know how else to write. There are words that often go unwritten, but the words that make it here, I hope, are worthy of your time and your thoughts. I cannot guarantee that every post will be profound, or even well written. I can, though, guarantee that they will be the best of what I can produce during these days when I have to be everything to everyone.
I hope you will stay and read and comment and visit often!
Have questions? Feel free to send me a note! My email address is: wise [dot] kay [dot] c [at] gmail [dot] com.