About This Blog

Black: I am an African-American woman. I’m a Black woman. I’m a Woman of Color. Label me whatever you want. I live my race every day because of the color of my skin and the place where I’ve chosen to live. My race is front and center in many of my relationships, including my marriage. It is a blessing as well as a liability, for me and for my sons. That’s an uncomfortable thing to write and to read, but it’s the truth. I try to write about the intersections of my race, class and gender in the best way that I can, and I try to do the same for my boys and their bi-racial identity. I have to navigate my race and their race in thoughtful ways.

Bunched: My sons, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, are 15 months apart in age. That wasn’t the plan, but that’s how the universe decided to package them for me. It makes for a lot of work, a lot of drama, a lot of stress and, yes, a lot of joy. Two boys, bunched together as close as they can be without being twins… my goodness. God gives you the challenges He knows you can handle. Sometimes,  I wonder where He expects me to get the patience and grace to make it happen!

Mass: Massachusetts. I’m a proud daughter of the Old Line State, but I’m a landowning, tax paying, entrenched resident of the Bay State. And it’s… a lot. It doesn’t matter how long I live here or how much of myself I choose to give this place, New Englanders make room for few “others.”  We marked a decade in 2016.

Mom: The identity that is most prominent in my life right now. Society expects my Motherhood identity to be above all others, even my Black one. I’m a stay-at-home mother, so motherhood doesn’t really end for me. There are expectations for me to perform from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed. Cramming any other identity into my day (like writer, blogger, crafter, friend, dreamer… etc, etc) brings on judgement (perceived or overt) and guilt that is often self-imposed. As a mother in the suburbs, I spend a lot of time in my minivan, at school or school functions, prepping for the next child-centered activity, navigating the feelings of adults and their children, and praying that all of the decisions that I make now don’t horribly scar my children later in life. I’m doing my best, understanding that most of my “best” will go unthanked, even unnoticed… I do it just as much for me as I do it for them.

I’m a Millennial, I’m middle-class, I’m highly educated and I’m ambitious. This makes me a lot of things to a lot of people. When I’m walking down the street in my suburban Massachusetts town, most people see none of that at all. They only see what they see. I’ve learned to use this as a tool rather than take it as an insult.

I write honestly because I don’t know how else to write. There are words that often go unwritten, but the words that make it here, I hope, are worthy of your time and your thoughts. I cannot guarantee that every post will be profound or even well-written. I can guarantee that they will be the best of what I can produce during these days when I have to be everything to everyone.

I hope you will stay and read and comment and visit often!

Have questions? Feel free to send me a note! My email address is: wise [dot] kay [dot] c [at] gmail [dot] com.

34 Comments Add yours

  1. mrsladyn says:

    I am not a woman of color, but I have a bi-racial nephew, and may have had a “mixed” great-grandmother who was around during the “one-drop rule.” My only biological brother could stay outside in the sun and turn a beautiful deep brown; I burned to a crisp. I wanted nothing more in life to be brown-eyed and brown-skinned. Unlike my brother, I was able to blended in a little bit more into our small town community because I was white and blue-eyed. Anyway, I enjoy reading your blog. As an aside, my bi-racial nephew has a Black father and white mother (my sister). He will probably end up in a mostly-white school district (he’s only two). My white daughter is the only white student in an all black urban school.

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Thanks so much for reading my blog. I love stories like this–I think that mixed families are beautiful. I would be very interested to know about your nephew’s experience and your daughter’s experience: They are both going to be similar and different. I think integration, in all forms, is important. I hope that you’ll continue to share! I worry every day about my sons’ learning experiences. School is hard enough, but to add the cross-section of race/class/gender into it just makes it a minefield. I look forward to sharing our experiences through this blog.

      Much love and warm regards to you and your family. 🙂 And thank you, again, for reading!!!

  2. Mancakes says:

    Hey! You’ve been nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award..check it! http://mancakestheblog.wordpress.com/2013/03/29/versatile-blogger-award-moi/

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Thank you for this!! I really appreciate it! I will try to do stuff for this over the weekend!

  3. Domica says:

    Wow… my sister. Also married to a white man, also raising a brood of bi-racial children, also in the cold, hard, North. The only thing worse is the phony, soft, South, where southern hospitality can never seem to fully erase their absolute confusion when the eight of us (yes, I have six caramel kids) jump out of the mini-van. On so many levels: I feel you. Write on

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Soooo you write, you’re married to a lovely white man, you’re raising bi-racial children (a BUNCH! OH SNAP!), ANNND you live in my neck of the woods?? Where have you BEEN all my life!?!?!?! Welcome to my blog! So pumped that you found me!

  4. I think I’m really gonna love your blog. I am mixed and I’m married to a white man. Our son looks white and will probably identify that way. Anyway, race is complicated and I love that you’re talking about it and writing about it in a thoughtful way. I’m gonna follow you, now.

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Thanks so much for stopping by! I’m glad that you found me, and I’m grateful for the follow! 🙂 I’m curious about your son and his adventures. Ursa Major, my eldest, probably couldn’t pass because of his curly hair. But Ursa Minor, my youngest, if his hair remains the same, probably COULD pass. It’s interesting… Your blog, by the way, is beautiful. I’m pumped to follow it!

      1. Thank you. How is it 2013 and passing is still a thing? LOL! but it is and you’d be surprised what people say around you if you don’t “look” black. I digress. Your blog is pretty awesome, too. Cheers. 🙂

  5. Well we have some things in common because I’m doing the same with my children and I look forward to reading future posts! I have two bi-racial boys, a daughter “of color” from a previous relationship and explaining answers to color/race questions has been very interesting!

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Thanks for dropping by. 🙂 I haven’t had to explain much about race to the boys yet (and I’m not prepared for the inevitable conversation!), but I feel like I am doing a lot of explaining to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE–including my own stupid in-laws! it’s been a mess! I’m grateful for your reading. I hope that we can share war stories as time goes on. 🙂

  6. I love your voice. Should you ever make it out to Colorado with your husband, look me up. We can get our multi-ethnic fams together and you and my husband can discuss history. And the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory shop on our Pearl Street Mall is truly glorious. Keep writing, and I’ll keep reading!

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      I’d love that very much! I hear that Denver is freaking beautiful and that everyone is fit and happy! I also hear the the culinary scene is outrageous because ingredients are super local and fresh. I’d LOVE to get out there!!!

      And now all I can think about is a Peanut Butter Pail. My GOD those things are delicious!

  7. mithriluna says:

    I love your blog. I love how you express yourself. I am a Filipino American married to a white Jersey boy. My kids definitely are a mix. People usually think my kids are Hispanic or Indian. When my kids were little and my husband would take them shopping, people would think they were adopted. When my kids show friends pictures of their blond, blue-eyed cousins, their friends think they’re lying.
    We live in a predominately white middle class neighborhood in NJ. Though there is not as strong a prejudice towards inter-racial marriages concerning Asians/whites where I live, I still experience feeling different.
    I am very grateful that I have very welcoming in-laws. My father-in-law was very hesitant when my husband-then-boyfriend first asked him what he thought (28! years ago) but then he and I ended up having a great relationship.
    Looking forward to reading future posts on your blog. You are doing a terrific job. I know there are so many woman finding a voice in your blog.

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Wow, Mar, your family sounds beautiful. You are exactly who I was looking for when I started this blog. I feel like we interracial couples are not so rare, and yet our presence on these here interwebs seems to be scattered and wayward. Thank you for taking the time to find me and comment on my blog. Your experiences sound very similar to mine!

      I have in-laws who think they are supportive but are often times misguided in what they say and do. They are by no means racist, they are just…old fashioned and sheltered….sometimes. It brings an unnecessary tension into our marriage sometimes. While I thought that children would ease this, I have found that it seems to amplify it. Family in these situations is sometimes wonderful, sometimes awful (which, I think, is easy to deal with) or it can be ambiguous–and that just extra sucks.

      I am so grateful that you have found me. I’m so looking forward to continuing to discuss with you in the future!

  8. Hi K.C.

    My name is Kevin Gillespie, I do, MUCH prefer to be called Kev though. :).

    I live in Wales, & am Following your Blog. :).

    Best Wishes 🙂

  9. K.C. Wise says:

    Hello, Kev! Thanks for stopping by my blog!! I look forward to your future comments and contributions!

  10. Jean says:

    Where is this place, cold hard north? 😀 I’m an aunt of 4 Asian-white biracial nieces and nephews. So identity can get lost in the rubble of white stones on the beach.

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      I just caught this! Dunno how I missed it! 🙂 I’d much rather hang out on a beach right now. The cold north is Massachusetts… where, as I type, there is still about 6 inches of snow on the ground left over from LAST WEEK’s snow storm… so lame. And we’re getting another one on Thursday! Depressing! Give me white stones on the beach any time!

  11. Love the concept of your blog.. Will continue to follow your journey..Keep the faith because it’s a cold world everywhere. Being a positive voice in any form or fashion is always greatly appreciated.

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Thank you so much for following and reading my blog! This blog started as something and has certainly evolved over time. I try to remain true to the same roots of my original idea, but as you’ll see, my ideas about motherhood change every day. 🙂 I appreciate you stopping by and look forward to your comments in the future!!

  12. I’d love to do some cross-posting. Your blog is phenomenal!

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      I would love that! I am so excited about your startup and I loved your tribute post. Congrats on your FP today! I’ll send you an email tomorrow and we can talk more.

      1. Sounds like a plan! Thank you so much, and please keep up the great work!

  13. Brosephus says:

    I got your response. I’ve been a silent reader for a minute, and I have thoroughly enjoyed all that I have read. It’s refreshing to see positive examples of motherhood, especially from Black mothers as there’s no lobby to make the case for you all.

    I have recommended your blog to a few friends and hopefully they will spread the word even more.

  14. harevalour says:

    I LOVE this blog. Your potty training post was the funniest thing I’ve read all week. I’m pretty pale, but I don’t consider myself ‘white’ as the term is a social construct with the intent to divide AND I am part of the Osage tribe (altho I’m mainly a mutt). I can relate on a similar level tho- I grew up in California and my husband is Irish. I’m living in Ireland now and sometimes it feels like a different planet. Seriously. Similar skin tones do nothing to bridge cultural differences. We’re planning our first child for next year sooo we’ll see how that goes! Anyway, fantastic blog- I’m so glaf I found it! Well…. Fresh pressed found it for me, but whatever.

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Welcome and thank you and I’m glad that you found me (or Freshly Pressed lead you to me), too! And if you think my potty training post is funny, maybe you’ll do it better than I have when it is YOUR TURN to do this! I love motherhood but… potty training is not my favorite thing. Hope that all goes well with planning and starting your family! It’s a big and joyous step! I also hope you’ll come back to my little blog early and often!

  15. Yecheilyah says:

    Hey K.C. Wise, how are you? I followed your blog a few days ago and I am in love with your children! They are beyond adorable, I’m scrolling through your post just to see their little faces smh. lol. So anyway, I was really drawn into this line: “Label me whatever you want. I live my race every day because of the color of my skin and the place where I’ve chosen to live. My race is front and center in many of my relationships, including my marriage, and it is something that will not change.”

    I happen to be doing an Interracial Blog Feature on my blog and I would love to interview you. I wanted to send an email but could not find it on your blog, however, if you (or anyone else here) would like to know more please email me: ahouseofpoetry@gmail.com. Here’s the link to the initial post for anyone who may be interested and thank you so much for your time:


    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Hey! Thanks for reading my Blog and thank you for the compliments about my boys. 🙂

      I read your post about this blog series. I… have many questions. I’m not saying no… I’m just saying that I have many questions. I’ll be in touch in a bit.

      1. Yecheilyah says:

        Sounds good. And even if you were saying no, that’s totally cool. I’ll be awaiting your questions.

  16. Kevin Gesterling says:

    Wonderful blog, I followed you a few years ago apparently when I was still using wordpress.com and I have come back here and I came across your blog in my reader section and have been impressed. Keep up the good work. I am in Rhode Island so it is always nice to read from somebody local.

    1. K.C. Wise says:

      Thank you for reading, Kevin! I absolutely love Providence. Waterfire is one of my absolute favorite things in the entire world. We try to go at least once a year, but parking always makes it hard. The first time, when we were young, had no children and were very foolish, we stayed at the Renaissance downtown and walked to Waterfire from there. Absolutely magical.

      Anyway, I’m so grateful that you found me the first time and now have returned! It means a lot to me. Thank you so much!

      1. Kevin Gesterling says:

        You’re welcome keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more.

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