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Avoidance as Self-Care

11 months ago

624 words

Photo: Supermoon and a Blue Moon and a Lunar Eclipse in the early morning, my favorite time of day? It was like a little mid-winter present gifted to me by the universe! My joy lasted ever so briefly, as the moon was setting here as the eclipse really got started. But, I got to see a bit of it, and it was awesome. All the excitement was done before the boys got up!

 

I decided to do something positive with the anxious energy I had about the State of the Union by choosing to serve as parent volunteer at Kindergarten Night at the school, which took up most of yesterday evening. I put on my nice dress, was given a name tag at the door, and was off to the races fielding questions from nervous prospective parents.

I admitted to my husband last night that I really miss teaching. I think that’s part of the reason why I’ve been spending so much time at the boy’s school lately. I miss teachers, who are wonderful people, and I miss the energy of school. Elementary schools, especially, are really special places.

Parents asked all sorts of questions, from nut-allergy concerns to comparing the art-integration in our school to the project-based model of another. Some parents asked me to confirm or deny the rumors they’ve read on Facebook or heard on the playground. “It’s such a ridiculous process, this,” a parent huffed. “But I’m taking it seriously. My kid will be here longer than he’ll be in college! Can you believe it?”

I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it that way before. Perhaps because my personal elementary school experience was K-2 in one building and then 3-6 in another. It freaked me out for a minute… like yeah, this is a big chunk of their lives. Holy crap, I’m glad we landed well!

When I got home, I got in my pajamas, put on some cartoons, and screwed up my sock project. No speech. No nonsense. No high blood pressure. First time I’ve missed the speech since high school and I don’t feel back about it at all. I’m pissed about this sock, though. I don’t really know what I did wrong and now I’ve gotta make time to stop by the yarn store to fix it. I turned the heel so gracefully! How could I screw up a gusset?

“Self-care” is a word we were using a lot last year. I haven’t seen a lot of reminders for it lately, but that’s what I decided to do last night. I made the choice to be of service, to honor my mental health, and to not contribute to the hurricane of outrage. These were all constructive actions in the face of constant, relentless destructive activity. It shouldn’t feel radical, and perhaps it isn’t, to simply opt-out of some of the cyclical lamentation and woe. I keep trying my best to turn my personal anguish into tangible action. When I’m successful (and I’m not always), it’s deeply satisfying.

Of course, the alarm and the coffee maker both went off before I was ready this morning. I’m not sure where I found the energy to get on thermals and clothes to go out there in the cold just to catch a glimpse of the super blue moon. It was totally worth it. The Moon always lifts my spirits, and the inspiration carried me all day.

I hope you are still feeling inspired, Dear Reader. Are you on track to accomplish something important this week? Reach out for the constructive actions, seek out the things that inspire you, and let’s all finish the week feeling like we got something done.

I’ll see you Friday for Quiet Thoughts.

One Reply to “Avoidance as Self-Care”

  1. Way to go! There is no chance that the speech would say anything, uplifting, hopeful or informative, so why put yourself through it? Instead you put yourself in a place that is all about making a better tomorrow through the choices we make today. You choose active participation in the positive over passive participation in the negative. Gold stars are deserved.

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