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[Quiet Thoughts] Ready for Rest

2 weeks ago

912 words

Photo: The yard was lush and rain-soaked yesterday morning and I just had to break out my good camera. Dear Reader Leah sent me some pointers on how to be better with my macro lens, so I put that advise to use and I think I got some pretty great results! Any of ya’ll Dear Readers know which flower this is?

 

I went into the boys’ room about 40 minutes after The Husband had put them to bed and they were both in a deep sleep. Minor, especially. I jostled him around a bit trying to reunite him with a pillow he seems to have pushed away and that boy didn’t rouse at all. Major woke up long enough to give me a kiss on the cheek before promptly falling back into his slumber. They both deserve a full night’s rest. It’s been such a week. We’re going to blink an eye and Monday will be back again.

I am incapable of profound Quiet Thoughts this week. I’m bone tired. It’s going to take another week to fully metabolize the new schedule. I looked over my journal today and marveled at all of the appointments I was able to keep, all of the tasks I able able to accomplish. I was also amazed by how much time I still spent in my van this week zooming to and fro for whatever.

Of all of the things I did this week, do you know what I’m most proud of? I sent my story coach a pretty dense document describing the characters, setting and first nine chapters of my novel. She and I are going to video-chat on Monday and she is going to give me feedback. I’m sitting here a little numb, a little airy. After a year of thinking about this novel, and a summer preparing to write it, here I am at the very last step before getting started in earnest. Part of me worries it’s going to be weak, or it’s not going to make any sense, or it’s not going to be terribly interesting. I’m going to have to fight the demons of self-doubt all weekend. Good thing there will be plenty of opportunities for distraction!

I am keeping this post short because as soon as I press “publish” I am going to bed. The question is whether or not I’m going to fall asleep on this here couch first or if I’m actually going to manage to get myself up and then up those stairs. Oh, the suspense! Next week, I’ll be better. Three full posts. No excuses. Thank you for your patience with this mama in transition.

It is going to be a chilly night here in Massachusetts. 49 degrees with a cloudless sky. Our tomatoes are peeved while our kale is jubilant. These cool nights mean the apples will be perfect for picking in a few weeks, and hopefully we’ll get to light a fire this weekend.

I realize our comfort comes as our neighbors to the south suffer. My paternal grandmother will be riding out the storm in a care facility in South Florida. My aunt and a few cousins are staying, too. I worry and I pray. I understand why they are choosing to hunker down instead of taking flight, but I still worry. Let us all remember our neighbors in path of danger this weekend, Dear Reader. And let us remember our neighbors who are still just fully realizing how much they have lost after Harvey. Open minds, open hearts, generous spirits. As long as you do something, Dear Reader, you will be doing enough.

I could not possibly leave you without a few wishes, Dear Reader. I wish you a bowl of chili; spicy and hot and served with delicious fixin’s that are savory and satisfying. Find a new recipe or call up a relative who has mastered it. Bonus points if you use locally grown tomatoes, peppers and garlic to make it happen. I wish you time with a book. I am finally getting around to N.K. Jemisin’s The Fifth Season and it is all engrossing. I can’t put it down. I wish you the warm comfort of a favorite couch and a well-made blanket. Share if you want or find the centering stillness of being alone and quiet for a while. Either will feed you, Dear Reader. And that’s a big thing I wish for you this weekend: nourishment. Enough to get you ready for the next week to come and the challenges it will bring. With that, though, I wish you the opportunity to nourish someone else as well. Not just with food (though that’s a great place to start), but with a good story, a piece of wisdom, a positive example, a simple act of grace or kindness. Give as much as you take this weekend, Dear Reader. Boldly choose to be a bit of change, a bit of warmth, a bit of light. Trust yourself and your ability to make change and bring light to the darker corners of the world. Trust that what you do matters, that you are loved, supported and admired. Fiercely protect the right and opportunities for your neighbors and friends to be here, contributing, doing their part to make the world a little different, a little better. Above all, I wish you and your family safety if they are (or were) in the path of the coming storm.

Until Monday, take care.

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