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1 month ago

837 words

Photo: The clivia bloomed, ya’ll! I absolutely love when the clivia blooms! This photo is actually from two weeks ago and I forgot to post it. With cool nights around the corner, she will have to go back inside soon. I’m waiting for new bulbs to develop. Supposedly, if I play the game right, I can get a February bloom, too!

 

I got to hang out at a beautiful pond with the cutest baby in the whole wide world this morning. You know how all babies are just about as perfect as possible right before their 1st birthdays? That’s this baby. He’s happy and crawling and doesn’t want for much, and even when he does fuss, it’s just the cutest thing ever in the history of ever. I got to hold him and snuggle with him while watching the big boys play. It was just the best!

sigh Trying not to get any big ideas. Lord, please keep me from getting any big ideas.

It was a lovely distraction given all that’s going on. I’m slowly plowing through all of the things I need to get done, though I cannot believe it’s already Wednesday. I’ll make a note of this next year: end of August = worst time to be a freelancer. Everybody is getting back from vacation and realizing we haven’t gotten anything done since the end of May. I’m up to my eyeballs in work–and that’s a good problem to have, so I know I really shouldn’t complain.

We got our teacher assignments for the upcoming school year yesterday. Ursa Minor will be getting the same kindergarten teacher who we so loved and enjoyed last year! I am so relieved! I was worried we’d get one of the other teachers (which, yes, I would have taken as a personal rejection because I’m a suburban mother who is entirely too emotionally invested in all of this). I really think I’ll be able to enjoy this school year now that I know what to expect.

If I had been a more thoughtful mother, I would have paid more attention to the 1st grade team. Major has his assignment, but I have no idea who this teacher is or what to expect from her. Now having a community of other parents to share information with, I reached out to a few people to find out where other kids are going.  Major will be with two of his friends from last year, but his “favorite” friend is going to a different class and he’s a little bummed about it. I am too, frankly. There isn’t much I can do about it.

Kindergarten orientation is next week and I am so excited to get back to it. Ursa Minor does not want to talk about it. The happy news that he’d be with Major’s kindergarten teacher in the same room as last year did not seem to ease Minor’s anxiety. Minor has convinced himself that he won’t have fun at kindergarten and that he’ll never play again.

I mean, it’s not true. But then again, I have to appreciate my child a little bit. He knows that life is about to change. He will play and he will have fun, but are these the last of his absolutely carefree days of no responsibilities and only doing what he wants to do from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed? Yes. They are. Their end was an inevitability.

I’ve written a million times that motherhood ends. Childhood ends, too. Childhood doesn’t end on the first day of kindergarten, but it’s true that childhood changes and a trajectory emerges once he gets on that bus. It will be a supreme moment for the both of us, a beginning of a new kind of life for our entire family. There will be elation and tears and fear and excitement and anticipation all in that moment for the both of us. All beginnings come with these things. Minor can’t say all of that in so many words, but he sees the change coming. He knows that this is not a small change and he knows that even being with big brother (who loves school and is counting down the days to go back) isn’t really going to fix what is bothering him about it.

So I’m not talking about it. He’s got his two weeks. We both know he’s going to get on the bus and go. Whether or not he’s gonna have a good day…? Well… one thing at a time.

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I am rambling because my brain is a bust.  I hope I have enough bandwidth left to write some Quiet Thoughts on Friday. I’ll do my best to keep some braincells on reserve for you, Dear Reader.

Oh! And if you win the big lottery tonight, please think of your dear, favorite blogger! Just kick me a little tiny bit of it! I promise I won’t be greedy and ask for a bunch! 🙂

Until then, take care.

4 Replies to “Wednesday Already?”

  1. “Excitement and fear are conjoined twins”. I can’t remember if I got that from Brene Brown or Elizabeth Gilbert, but it sounds like Minor has figured out that truth.

  2. Playing at the school playground a bit at the end of summer helped “my” nervous kiddos get excited about school. Probably depends on the child whether or not that would help or make the impending change all the more real and worrisome

    1. I’ve been avoiding the “playground playdates” at the school because… augh. So awkward. Buuuuuutttt… I should probably take him over there just once to play and get used to it. Augh… don’t wanna.

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