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[Fail] Again, I know

5 months ago

375 words

 

 

I’m so sorry, Dear Reader. For the second Friday in a row, I’ve gotta step away and be cool. It was another week of challenges, capped off today with good news (I have a new freelancing client! Yay!) but then ended with a lot of nonsense and, ultimately, a fight with my husband. We’re fine, but just… it never feels good to do that. Sometimes it’s necessary to get it all out there, to have the words said and to let them be what they are. I’m sure you married readers know exactly what I’m talking about. We do not fight often but, when we do, we fight well…

And so now I need some silence. I need a little bit of nothing. I might need a whole night of it. We’ll see.

I apologize, though, because I hate putting up a Fail instead of a Quiet Thoughts, and two weeks in a row I think is a first for this blog. Sometimes, I can do it all. Sometimes, I’m simply human.

My wish for you is a love so profound, so deep and so true that it’s worth going to the mattresses for. I wish you something worth holding on to, a stance that makes you shake a little in your bones, makes your voice quiver a little. I wish you, after the battle is over (win or lose), a time to simply be with it. To find, on your own, whatever your peace is. Sit in it, rest in it, then get up and start again.

Wegmans tomorrow. And suburban lifestyle of running to and fro all weekend. There will be laughter and joy again come the morning. But for now, silence, and a remembering, a recalling of why it’s worth the fire. I’ve been fightin’ with that man since 2002. He’s the only man I’ve ever met worthy of my affection and my ire. He never disappoints. Marriage is weird and wonderful like that.

You are loved, Dear Reader. If you so happen to love someone else, please tell them so this evening. Shine your light in the darkness and do good works this weekend.

Thank you for your patience with me. I’ll do better next week. Until Monday, take care.

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