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2 years ago

1347 words

Photo: Fuzzy little heads together, thinking, designing, building. One day, the world won’t be ready for what they can do. It’s in these moments I can see all of the potential.


I spent $14 on Spiderman electric toothbrushes today. I did it at the expensive grocery store that I really hate because I was in a rush between a scheduled breakfast and pick-up time at school. I had to go to the overpriced grocery store just off the highway instead of my reasonably priced Wegmans much farther away. I did this because Motherhood is a ridiculous thing.

You see, my boys went to the dentist yesterday. They always have me make these 6-month-out appointments while I’m standing there in the office and, of course, it never fails, they sneak up on me. I managed to re-arrange my week to make it happen and we are sitting in this empty office.

Major was excited to go to the dentist. It’s a pretty cool place, the doctor has a “dancing clock” and the kids get a prize and a new toothbrush whenever we go.

“We need new toothbrushes. I can’t wait to get my new toothbrush.”

I love that you are excited about your new toothbrush, kid.

He got to go with the doctor first. I stayed behind with Minor and did some reading. It took some twentyish minutes for Major to get his cleaning done, but when he came out, he was all sorts of excited.

“Mama! You’re not going to believe it! I’ve got an electric toothbrush! Just like you and daddy! Look! Look at the button!”

I glance up from my thoughts and inspect the brush. Foggy mommy eyes do a cursory glance-over: kids brush, button-looking thing in the middle of it. It’s electric (boogie woogie woogie). “Awesome! What a nifty thing for a big boy to get!”

Minor, who is walking away with the nurse: “Well, I want to get a electric toothbrush, too!”

Minor goes in the back with the nurse, Major sticks with me, and he’s practically floating. “Just like you and my daddy… a real electric toothbrush…”

So, when Minor came out with the doctor, he had to present his toothbrush. He and his brother exchanged toothbrush notes while I got the report on their health: no cavities! All teeth lookin’ great! Major’s underbite is still present (boo). Minor has an overbite (figures) (boo). Have any questions? No? Bye!

Alarm and dismay: “Mommy! [Major] says that I don’t have an electric toothbrush!”

Minor presented the toothbrush to me. No tears yet, but there is great urgency. I glance over the brush–it’s different, that’s for sure. No button. Not ‘lectric. Fix it, Mama. Fix it fast.

The doctor is gone and so is the nurse. So, I’ve gotta go talk to the sorta unfriendly receptionist.

“I’m so sorry… I hate to do this, but would it be possible for me to exchange this toothbrush for one that looks like [Major’s]? It’s just that if one of them has an electric toothbrush and the other doesn’t, it’s gonna be a thing. Please?”

She looked at me like I was crazy. She pointed to the Philips Sonicare on display. “Like, one of these?”

“No, like whatever they gave [Major] back there. I know it’s about their ages, but if things aren’t the same between them, it’s a big huge thing.”

She got it. She wasn’t happy about it, but she got it. A yellow one for Minor, a blue one for Major. Everybody happy? Yes. Say thank you. Thank you! Let’s go.

Little boys wanted to brush their teeth with their new, electric toothbrushes as soon as they got home. (No.)

After playing outside? (No.)

Just before nap? (No.)

Maybe after nap? (No.)

It was a long day.  But finally, finally, bedtime came, bath was drawn, husband was home to manage the brushing of teeth and

Husband: “Babe, this is not an electric toothbrush. Who told them these were electric toothbrushes?”

Major: “They told me! They told me it’s electric!”

Me: “There is a button on them, isn’t there? Did you hit the button?”

Husband: “Honey, that’s not a button. It’s just rubber.”

Awww shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Major: “Do you mean… it’s not electric? Did you press the button?”

Minor: “Does it need new batteries?”

Major: “What about if we put in new batteries?”

Minor: “Maybe we need to push the button again.”

Major: “But they told me it was electric! They told me!”

Oh, Dear Reader. The grief of it. Big, huge tears. Both children crumpled over, devastated. They were gonna brush their teeth like Mommy and Daddy. They were gonna be big boys with awesome electric toothbrushes.

It took 40 minutes to get through the rest of the process. There were vows that they’d never brush their teeth again. Demands to return to the Dentist to tell them that they didn’t tell the truth.

We parents…

sometimes your heart breaks with theirs, even when you know it’s over something so silly. So very, very silly.

I had to go to the grocery store anyway. We required buttermilk and bacon for yummy Saturday morning breakfast (the best meal of the week because I don’t have to cook it!). So there I was spending too much money at the dumb-priced store, pickin’ up buttermilk and toothbrushes.

Because sometimes in life, you think you’ve got an electric toothbrush but it turns out you actually don’t.

(lol. That looks hella profound and means absolutely nothing.)

I presented the little boys with their new toothbrushes while they were eating their lunch after school. Let them touch the button and see the bristles spin just to prove that yes, these are the real deal. It wasn’t Christmas happy, not even birthday happy… but they were still joyful. Little things are big things in the world I live in.

I hope that there is someone in this world you’d buy an electric toothbrush for, Dear Reader. Moreover, I hope you know that there is someone who would, and probably did, buy an electric toothbrush for you. I didn’t know that’s what I signed up for but that’s what I done did.

It is a cool Friday, not a cold one, and for that I’m gonna give much thanks and praise. Flurries fly without passion just outside of my window. They have no urgency nor intent, and will be forgotten within the hour. This weekend’s to-do and honey-do list gets longer by the minute, especially because next weekend is Kinkling weekend and that means open house with a full kitchen and that means lots of cleaning and a costco run must get done! What are you up to this weekend, Dear Reader? I hope you’re getting up early and tackling the world, leaving sleep for some other time. Go forth and get it! Only you can make the most of your one precious life. As ever, I have wishes for you, like a good chunk of time and a good bit of momentum to get one major task done. I wish you a deep satisfaction in whatever you are able to accomplish, and even a little celebration for your hard work afterwards. I wish you something with deep and fully-developed flavors. A French onion soup, that ribollita I linked to on Monday, maybe a slow-roasted potroast or even a stuffed bird. I wish you a friendly word with a stranger this weekend, an article shared with a friend, a poem exchanged with a penpal, a laugh shared with a neighbor or a long story on the phone with family. Either way, I wish you the warmth of feeling connected to the wider human story, knowing that the relationships in your life, big and small, each have their ways of filling your jar and moving you toward your next great thing. You’re amazing and loved, Dear Reader. I purposefully tell you every week because I absolutely know it to be true. Know it, live it, share it with someone between now and Monday.

Until then, stay warm, stay safe and take care.

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