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Please Pass the Advil

3 years ago

1119 words

Photo: Red cement pavers. Probably best used to make a patio or something. We’re using them as walking stones between the driveway and our front door. We don’t want to have a big heavy formal walkway. Instead, we want stones that sort of sink into the grass and become part of the ground. Intuitive, practical, pretty, but not drawing the eye away from the real view: the house!

I am so old. For reals. I’m all sorts of sore because of the weekend warrior stuff we did. And by “the weekend,” I really mean Saturday, and I’m still walking around all stiff and ridiculous today. Today! Come on! Do I have to stretch before yardwork now? Yeesh… old sucks!

(How many readers did I just lose? I’m kidding, ya’ll!!)

am sore, though. We had a weekend for us where we didn’t need to be anywhere or do anything for other people (like school or church or family) and could actually concentrate on the house. Our fantastic neighbor has been over a few times talkin’ ’bout, “when are you guys going to put something in the flower boxes? Summer is here!”

We woke up on Saturday with big, big plans:

  1. Fill the flower boxes with pretty purple flowers (Lavender preferred).
  2. Construct a raised flowerbed for a kitchen garden.
  3. Purchase a pitchfork for better compost pile management.
  4. Redo the entire walking path from the driveway to the house.
    1. It must be straight (because it’s not straight).
    2. It must be a uniform color (because it’s not a uniform color).
  5. Plant the daisies our friend gave us in the front flowerbed because they can’t live in the pot anymore.

Ok? Ok.

A few of you are chuckling, aren’t you? “Girl, you know that’s too much stuff. What is wrong with you?”


Items 3 and 5 got done. Item 4 got started. That was it.

2.5 out of 5. That’s 50%, ya’ll. That’s an F for the weekend. And not for lack of effort. That’s an F for over ambition!

You see, what had-happened was, we were really only going to do the flower stuff and the raised bed. Because we knew we weren’t doing a whooole lot, we decided to have a leisurely morning: pancake breakfast, a little cleaning, Husband mowed the lawn. Yawn. Ahhhhh… this suburban life. Everybody got dressed and we went to the local nursery (that someone gave us a very generous gift certificate for) just to check out the scene. Blueberry bushes? Maybe. Ohh! Hydrangeas, so preeettyyy…. Hey look, boys, a waterfall and pond! Nice! No, Major! Don’t throw that random plant in there! Augh! Decision time! What herbs are we buying? Hey, is it a smart idea to purchase herbs for a raised flower bed that doesn’t currently exist? Hmm… doesn’t seem like a smart idea. So let’s go to Home Depot and get what we need to build one. Oh, while we’re there, let’s price out pavers for our walking path in the front yard!

You know where this is going, right? We skip on down the road, just a family of four out for the day like we don’t have anything to do. It’s 2:30 in the afternoon but, who cares? We’re having a good time!

By the time we get to Home Depot, we’ve talked ourselves into this walkway. Clearly we need to have something to show for our weekend! We find pretty red cement pavers. They are perfect.

“How many do we need?”

My husband, measurements in hand, has already done the math. “Forty One. Let’s get Forty Two for safe measure.”

“This and the lumber aren’t going to make it into the Fusion.”


“Alrighty… so…”

We had to rent a truck from Home Depot. One hour. Twenty bucks. They don’t charge you for the loading time. But remember, we’ve got two babies and, yeah… Major needs to go potty. I waited to confirm The Husband was going to be able to get the truck (because you never know) and then I led the chase up the highway back to our house. It’s probably a 20ish minute trip between our place and Home Depot, so that’s a thing. But we still had to unload the pavers and put gas in the truck before we returned it.

Tick tock, tick tock.

But, as you recall, we’re masters of space and time.

Not only did I assist my husband in unloading 42 stupid-heavy cement pavers from a crazy dirty Home Depot Truck in that hour, I also changed a dirty diaper and marinated that evening’s dinner. All between the trips to and from the house.

And yeah, we did the whole thing in under an hour, because we’re champions!


And then, when we got back, I planted a row of daisies in the front flower bed! “Because we have time before dinner,” I told my husband. “It’s only 4:30!”

So now I’m paying for it. Sore, sore, sore!

The Husband did the hard labor yesterday while I took up the annoying job of “keep the boys away from their father” all day. Little boys wanted to play with the hose, jump on the new stones, jump on the old stones, play with the tools their Father had taken out to get the work done… augh. And as much as I tried to keep my husband hydrated and happy during his work, he still ended up over-exerted with a headache before he could finish. So, I have a half-done path until next weekend. And probably no flowerbed until the week after.

If we’re lucky. We’ve got school obligations next weekend.

I’m not really complaining. It was a fun time. Good to get hands in the dirt and feel the warmth on the sun on your back. Hell, it’s even nice to be sore. It means I did some actual work for once. 😉 I get to go through my week looking forward to finishing the job!

Huh? What? Picture? When it’s finished! Gonna let the man do the work and then I’ll showcase it for all its glory! Don’t rush the magic, Dear Reader!

Oh, and the broken Lego piece from last Friday? Already replaced.…. Lordy. I’m lucky my husband only bought the one piece! Legos are till banned for an entire week. Dude bro is not even kidding.

As for me, there is writing to do. And editing. And knitting. And it’s the last week of school. I’m trying not to tear out my hair in anguish and lamentation.

Our first trip to the CSA is on Wednesday! Can’t wait to write about it! See you then!

What? There is work to be done? We’ll be over here… throwing dirt in each other’s hair!

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