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[Quiet Thoughts] Strange End to a Strange Week

3 years ago

1308 words

Photo: Normal. Pretty muffins on a Friday morning is the first normal thing I’ve done this week and the last normal thing I did today. All of the rest of it? Well… read on…

 

There is a strange energy about these parts, dear reader.

I got up this morning and saw my first sunrise in weeks, which gave me enough energy and inspiration to not just make muffins this morning, but blueberry muffins, which were pretty fantastic. And as I got myself and the boys together for school, I looked at my phone and found an email from The Husband: “Fox killed something last night. Fur and stuff up around the barn.”

Our front yard was the scene of a most serious affair last night.

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I am sorry if the pictures don’t come out terribly clearly. I took the pictures of the fur in the snow during the early morning when the barn was still casting a shadow over the scene. I took the pictures of the footprints in the snow after I picked up the boys from school.

When I got the email, I sent one back asking The Husband if there was any blood. “I didn’t see anyway…” he replied.

And I think that is of great interest. No blood in the snow. Lots of foot prints, but only one place where there looked to be an actual tussle and what not. And that fur? It looks like fox fur to me…

So I wonder. Remember those tracks I showed going in a strange direction last week? I wonder if my pet fox went out and stumbled across someone else’s turf… and then trouble came back up this way. Maybe? I don’t know. I’m also wondering if the fact that there is no blood in the snow is a good sign (my fox survived) or a bad sign. Either way, nothing died on my yard last night, but this is the first time we’ve ever seen anything like this. I’m fascinated and concerned at the same time.

So that was weird. You know what else was weird?

The boys and I were in a very minor car accident today. Super minor. Didn’t even dent the bumper minor. But it still happened. I was at an intersection waiting to make a right hand turn, and I was waiting for an opening (which is hard when you’re stretching your neck beyond a snow bank!) and next thing I know, “boom!” The big ol’ truck (F150) from town water/sewer that was behind me had given me a love tap!

It wasn’t enough to send me into the intersection. It didn’t scratch the car. It didn’t do anything. We pulled into a nearby parking lot and surveyed it all. It was like nothing had happened at all (seriously, the dude didn’t have far enough to accelerate beyond 1 or even 2 mph). But it was still scary. We exchanged information because it was the right thing to do, but that’s it.  That was my first collision, ever, in the entire history of my driving. So there was that. And then there was the fact that my babies were in the car!  And they thought it was pretty exciting. Here they are, rockin’ out to Smooth Criminal and the next thing you know, we’re making friends with a truck! When Major got to school and found the nearest adult, it all came out pretty clearly: “We were driving and then a big truck came and banged us in the back but there is no damage and it was bananas!”

That about sums it up.

And, of course, all I can think about is, “oh my God, it could have been so much worse. Thank God it wasn’t so much worse.” I went out for breakfast like I’d planned, I listened to my friend tell me stories about this and that… my blood pressure was through the roof, so I had orange juice instead of the vanilla latte I was fiending for…. and eggs benedict just tastes better after trauma, it would seem.

And then, you know what happened, dear reader? After my friend left breakfast? After I bought fish for tonight’s dinner? After I purchased a new notebook to make me feel better?

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I started writing.

What the hell?

Strange energy, dear reader. Strange energy. It must be the moon. It’s in a funky place in the sky and it’s early in the cycle. I also think it’s the year–There is something about 2015 that makes me feel like I’m forever dancing right on the edge between calm and calamity.

Oh, and further proof that this is a funky, weird week?

20150226_173744I don’t know why the color is so off on this, but…. you see that puzzle right there? 24 pieces of puzzle, yeah? I’m cooking dinner and I hear Minor announce that, “we are going to the city puzzle. We are going to do the city puzzle all by ourselves.” Major comes in with the box and announces, “Yeah! We’re going to make New York City by ourselves!” (He is obsessed with all things NYC after seeing the skyline when we drove to Maryland for Christmas.) Uh huh, I think to myself. They are going to start screaming and fighting within 10 minutes. I went about my cooking. I had a lot going on. But I turned down the volume on the kitchen TV to listen in. There was much collaboration: “I’m making the train.” “I am making the yellow bus.” “I found the piece for the limousine.”

And then the next thing I knew, they were jumping up and down in celebration. “We did it! We did the puzzle! We did the puzzle all by ourselves!”

And I? I was freaking amazed. They’d done the puzzle. They’d done the puzzle all by themselveswithout fighting! What?

And they demanded that I take many pictures. That was the one that came out the least blurry. Stupid cell phone camera. 🙁

Usually this is the part where I wrap it all together in some sort of profound way. Unfortunately, dear reader, I’m befuddled. It was a weird week and it ended in a weird way. Now, you know that I have a little tolerance for whimsy, so I’m pretty convinced that it’s the moon or my fox that has brought funky energy in our direction. Hopefully it will pass, or turn into something positive. 🙂 I don’t know if I should go buy a lottery ticket or a bottle of holy water!

Anyway. It’s another Friday. It’s a Friday that gets us ever closer to Spring, dear reader. I am watching an icicle melt outside of the office window. The weatherman is talkin’ jive about the “mid-30s” and “even some 40s” in the forecast over the next few days. Don’t get it twisted: there is still snow mixed in with that, too! But I’ll take what I can get. So I wish for you a hint of future joy: either in planning your summer garden or ordering seeds for it, or planning that big vacation, or getting an invitation for a summer wedding. I wish you something delicious and warm, but also lighter in fare: like a clear-broth soup and a sandwich with spring mix, red peppers and a lovely vinaigrette. I wish you a look a colorful spring fashions and a new pair of shoes. I wish you bird song; rare right now, I know, but it can be heard if one were to listen closely. It will bring hope to your heart in an unimaginable sort of way. I wish you a warm hand in your own, a kiss on the cheek, and the tender feeling of being loved and appreciated. Because you are, close up or from afar. And you are worthy.

Until Monday, stay warm and take care.

 

3 Replies to “[Quiet Thoughts] Strange End to a Strange Week”

  1. So…oddly, this appeared in my reader After the post about preschool.
    Two things you wrote about struck out at me:
    Thank goodness y’all are okay. Honestly gave me a bit of a start there to think about you guys being hurt. I guess you’re growing on me 🙂

    Second, if your recently screaming meemies pulled off this playtime puzzle project complete with teamwork and critical thinking, perhaps the preschool panic you experienced was just an off-day for everyone? Kids can act like crap, adults can do things wrong, and all on the day you’re more sensitive to it. I still stand by my initial assessment (albeit based on limited information) that rules aren’t the enemy, but maybe the preschool is just what the boys need to prepare for the next level.

    Maybe it’s supplementing your teaching with life-lessons in social interaction. Can’t be all perfect when folks get together, I suppose. Hope it works out. I’d be nervous and judgmental as hell if it were my kids.

    1. You are so kind! We really are ok! I almost didn’t write that part because I didn’t want to worry folks. 🙂

      In some ways you’re right: the boys are in the age of pushback. They are built to push all of the boundaries all of the time at this age. I respect that, to a degree. And yes, there are dividends: they feel free to experiment and make the world as their own, so they approach the world wholly different from how I approach it. That’s a beautiful thing.

      But then again, Major looks at me sometimes and thinks that he’s my equal. Not my better. My EQUAL. Because at school, students and teachers are the same. Everyone is first-name, all directives are requests, all interactions are eye-level.

      But my son is not my equal. He can’t wipe his own ass. Dude bro has a long way to go! And my world-view is that recognition that my child is not my equal is not a bad thing. For some reason, for his teachers, my world view is “being too hard” on my child.

      If my child can’t wipe his own ass, prepare his own meals and do his own laundry, how am I being “too hard” on him when I don’t allow him to dictate to me what he will and will not do???

      Killin’ me.

      And worries me. I don’t know what I’m going to do about this. I guess I just have to keep steering the boat as is…

      1. 100% with you here. Take this comparison in its good intent:
        my dog tried to elevate himself as well–jumping up, sniffing tables, pulling on the leash–but it cannot be tolerated because it is my job to ensure our safety. by my doing so, his trust builds, and he is relaxed. an anxious dog is very bad news. in order to keep balance and safety in a human world, management and rule making rests on my shoulders, not on Mr. Runs Thru Traffic. Same goes for kids.

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