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The Consequences of a Carefree Weekend

3 years ago

1080 words

Photo: These New Englander boys. I barely had to show them how the sleds work. They took them and learned how to fly in the course of 5 minutes. Then they just went, over and over and over again, for 2 hours. When they woke up this morning and discovered that most of last week’s snow had melted, they both threw tantrums. The Husband is threatening to build a luge course in our yard when the snow gets high enough… Heaven help me…

Upon reading the book that came with our adorable Black Elf on the Shelf, I was informed that the boys get to name the doll, not me. So there much anxiety on what they were going to name the thing. Since Ursa Minor spotted it first, the duty fell upon him, but since he really doesn’t “get” this whole Christmas/Santa/Magic thing yet, he didn’t really much care.

Husband: “What do you want to name the elf, [Ursa Minor]?”

“Um… ummmmmmm… I think…. um…. One!”

The two of us: “One!?”

Husband, looking for some help: “What about you, [Ursa Major]?”

“Um… I think… Richard….”

Me: “One Richard?”

Husband: “Richard the First!”

Me: “Wait, seriously? Richard I??”

Husband: “Yes! They totally named him Richard I! Like, from The Crusades! So awesome!”

So, of course, that made for very lively discussion about history, Eurocentricity, and the history of The Crusades over breakfast on Friday morning. Because that is what totally normal interracial couples talk about during their holiday weekends: The Crusades. Obviously.

And that is my weekend in a nutshell: totally carefree, a little silly, a little whimsical and… well…

now I have a bunch of stuff to do!! 

Tell me if you can relate to this: When my husband is home, I tell myself “oh yes, I have opportunity to get a lot done! He’s going to take the children off my hands!”

But what I forget is that, first, being in charge of the boys makes me really efficient. If I want something done, I need to schedule it, and when windows of time open, I seize the opportunity to get stuff done. Second, The Husband presents extra things to do. Because, uh… how can I write this delicately?

Husbands are absolutely guaranteed to mess up the natural hum and rhythm of an efficient and well-run household. In other words: Ya’ll screw up everything.

There. That’s right. I said it.

So outfits are wrong, clothing is put in the wrong place, spices are arranged poorly in the cabinets, silverware left unclean by the dishwasher magically ends up in the drawer for no reason… I can’t seem to keep up with all the laundry… did I just fill the dishwasher for the second time today!? Oh my God, what are you taking out for no reason now? Oh, you want to do that quick DIY so you have to rearrange the office, the playroom and the living room? That’s totally fine…

Lordy…

So there is that, and then there is just the fact that I tell myself that I have time, thus I move slowly. Or I take breaks. Or I (gasp!) procrastinate on a task or two.

The result? Christmas letter: not written. Christmas cards: arrived, but not ready to be addressed. Christmas Card list: 16 addresses missing or not updated. Did I mention that the Christmas Card list currently has 90 families/people on it? Guess who hand addresses each and every one of those puppies…

shake it off, shake it off…. at least most of my shopping is done. That’s the good news.

But, at least for a few days, I acted like I didn’t have a million things to do this month. Because I “won” NaNoWriMo, got Meadowlark totally published on time, and outlined the last part of the novel I’ve been working on for the better part of a year, I actually slept in every morning. And I honestly didn’t feel any pressure to do much. Actually, looking back on November, I’m feeling pretty accomplished! I actually think I might be able to make a go at this writing thing, for real… maybe…

but in the mean time, there is Christmas stuff to do.

Back to Richard I for a second: The Husband and I keep forgetting to move him and we keep putting him in not terribly creative places. What’s worse, the boys seem to be excited about him for the minute that they happen to find him and then they are off to the next temper tantrum. So, uh… this is a tradition that still needs a bit of work. Hopefully, when we go out to get our tree and other decorations next weekend, more of that magical feeling will fill the house.

Also, back to fun interracial couple discussions. I’m really curious: is there anyone else in the universe fighting about Christmas music? My husband, seriously, would listen to Handel’s Messiah on repeat all December long if I’d let him. I, of course, want to listen to Motown Christmas all December (and then, every once in a while, belt out some Mariah Carey. Because, I mean, who doesn’t want to rock out to All I Want For Christmas is You no less than 40 times between now and Christmas Day? …Nobody else…? Just me? Oh, ok… that’s cool…). We’ve compromised with the jazzy and classic Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack because it’s amazing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had the pleasure of listening to Messiah live at the Kennedy Center, and I’ve listened to recordings and performances of it all of my life… it’s a beautiful piece of music. Choral music is beautiful music. And very traditional, religiously based Christmas music has it’s place in the world…

But Christmas is about soul.

Right!? Somebody out there is feelin’ me, right!??

It’s going to be a great December. I can just feel it.

Who went shopping over the weekend? What did you get me?? I’m a pretty simple woman, so no sparkly bobbles required (I don’t know about you, but every time I see a Zales/Jared’s/Kay commercial, I throw up a little in my mouth). But if anyone out there has tickets to a Caribbean Cruise they are just dying to give away, you know how to reach me!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to sing along with The Temptations and dig up more addresses for these cards (and maybe order some printer labels from Amazon. Who hand-addresses 90 cards??)

See you Wednesday!

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