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3 years ago

1417 words

Photo: There are no longer cribs in my home. Only toddler beds. It’s the end of an age and the start of another.

 

Negotiations during the Great Nap Boycott of 2014 took a very dramatic turn yesterday afternoon. Protesters were so dedicated to the cause, it would seem, that they were willing to risk life and limb to make sure that they were no longer subjected to afternoon play deprivation.

I was on the phone with my grandmother when it all went down. The little bears were in their cribs, jumping up and down and singing (screaming) while The Husband was upstairs playing Civilization. We knew that they weren’t going to nap, but we’d both shrugged and decided that we at least deserved an hour of babyless time. Because, frankly, they’d been little punks all morning and we needed a break. I was wrapping up my conversation when the loudest and most awful thud you’ve ever heard in your life came from the nursery. And then, of course, the tell-tale scream.

“Who was it?” I’m not going to lie, I was pretty casual about my query. We’ve gone through this once before.

“[Ursa Minor],” My husband replied with a bit more urgency. He’d rushed the child to our bedroom to inspect him head to toe. I took my time getting off the phone with Grandy. When I came upstairs, I had an annoyed 3 1/2 year-old who wanted to be out of his crib too, and I had a 2 1/2 year old who was shaken up, but fine otherwise.

We walked into the nursery and started in on them both. Yada yada not safe, yada yada don’t jump, yada yada need to take a nap… but we saw the writing on the wall.

Time to take apart the cribs. Time to replace them with, DUN DUN DUN!!!!! The Toddler Beds.

So The Husband got to work. Both of the cribs are convertibles: crib to toddler beds to frames for twin-sized beds eventually. A great investment for any would-be parents out there. It took him about 10 minutes to have them both done. 10 minutes to seismically shift the functions of this house.

I told my husband that we should just embrace the fact that we’re probably going to have a rough sleeping week. Both children know how to open that nursery door and, though we put up a gate so as to prevent late night wandering and stair accidents, there is nothing to prevent them from opening that door and screaming for us whenever they want. I thought for sure that this was going to happen last night but, mercifully, it didn’t. But tonight? You never know!

It also means that the day looks and feels different. When the boys are up, they aren’t contained, which means I need to move faster from my coffee in the kitchen to a nursery full of anxious children. It also means instilling new habits–yes, I made the boys (try to) make their beds this morning. Getting dressed after breakfast means that I have to keep them focused when all they want to do is jump on their beds (it seriously took me almost 40 minutes to get through the dressing routine this morning). And then there is nap. Nap, at this moment, is absolutely obliterated.

I thought that if I could frame nap in the way of a positive choice (“You guys are big boys, and big boys get to choose… would you like to choose to take a nap? If you do, you’ll have a great afternoon!”) then maybe they would march upstairs, get in the beds and be cool for an hour or so.

Are you laughing? You probably should be laughing.

Because you know that lasted all of 15 minutes, right? Right.

Ursa Major is, biologically, ready to go through his days without naps. His little bother, though, probably should still have one. He gets tired. He gets cranky. After lunch time, he wanders around aimlessly until directed to get some sleep. But he ain’t sleepin’ if big brother isn’t in the room too (“I want to play with cars and trucks! I want to play with [Ursa Major]! I want to go downstairs!”) and that means, at least until school starts, I am a little screwed in the afternoons. Hell, I might be screwed during the school year. I’m praying that school will tire them out enough that one, if not both, will sleep. We’ll see.

There were other interesting things that happened over the weekend. As you know, my in-laws are coming this upcoming weekend. 3 days of bliss. Just wonderful glorious bliss. They are causing me drama already, namely my worthless sack of shit brother-in-law, and I didn’t write about it on Friday because Fridays are reserved for quiet reflections and what what. Let’s just say that when he found out that his parents are going to be at my place this weekend, he thought that meant he could get some free babysitting out of it. So he didn’t ask, he told us (via his mother, because he’s a sorry coward) that his two sons (3 and 1) will be staying with us on Saturday. He’s just gonna drop them off at 3 so that he and his wife can go party at a wedding. Really? Really? So, let’s break it down: The in-laws are coming on Friday and staying with us until Sunday, and in the middle of that, because clearly it just couldn’t be any more cozy up in here, we’re adding two extra babies to that mix. That’s right: My nephews are having a sleep over on Saturday night. Brother- and Sister-in-law will be picking them up on Sunday. Of course, they plan on staying all day, drinking my booze and eating my food. Because, you know, family.

After venting to my mother about it, I was told: “We all have our crosses to bear. It’s clear that your brother-in-law doesn’t have any clue how to function in a civilized society and that is a reflection on how your mother-in-law raised him. You can’t control that. I know that raised you proper, and I know you’re going to be a fantastic hostess this weekend.”

This will be an extreme test of my patience and grace. People who know me well know that I have very little to begin with.

But, I will leave on a happy note! The bathroom is “complete” after I found the perfect shower curtain for it! Lookie!

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I found it during my first-ever trip to a local Homegoods store and, I must say, though it’s a bit of a hodge-podge and kinda poorly organized, I was really impressed with the prices I found! Our realtor had given us a gift certificate for the store after we closed on the house, and I’d been saving it for this moment. I bought that shower curtain and a bunch of fun things for my kitchen that I wouldn’t normally splurg on (including some adorable little terracotta mini-pots just PERFECT for making little servings of some chorizo-tomato broth… Oh my God. Hello Autumn cooking!). And believe it or not, I still have money on the gift certificate! What a fun store!!

I have a lot going on this week, but I’m gonna stay positive and productive. I remind myself that my toils this week will result in a fun in-laws post next week (and they are always worth it, aren’t they?)!

Stay productive out there, dear reader! See you Wednesday!

Bloggy housekeeping: I wanted to say thank you to Brosephus over at The Mind of  Brosephus, who included my little blog in his list of cool blogs for his “One Lovely Blog Award.” I admit that I’ve never been good at keeping up with these things, but I am particularly committed to doing my part to spread the love because, first, I didn’t even know that Brosephus was a reader until he nominated me, second, I’m in the mood to share 7 random facts about myself and third, I think I have some blogs that I can nominate now. So, I will do my best to get that done this week or next! It’s comin’! While I’m doing that, I think I’m going to add a new section to the blog that I’m going to dedicate to the house projects that we’ve done. Just so that you guys can see the evolution of the house the way that we have over these past 8 months! Look for that this week or next, too!

5 Replies to “The Next Round of Growth”

  1. Do you have a way of giving each kid their own rooms? This might give you a way to trick Minor into having a nap. (Everyone sleeps in their own rooms.)

    On normal days, neither of my kids nap. The son is way too old. The daughter takes her nap at school. (But then I have school time for myself.) And on weekends, I can’t get her to nap. Except when she agrees to a ride in the buggy. So I ask her to walk to the playground, sometimes she falls asleep and I can head back home. Does Minor fall asleep in the buggy?

    And if this does not work, the husband and I take turns for our personal hour.

    Good luck with your in-laws. I am feeling sorry for you. Hopefully the inevitable in-laws post will make up for it, but I guess not.

    1. I can’t even fit Minor in the buggy now adays. He wants to get out and explore anyway. Today, I am going to try to wear him out a bit and then see if I can convince him (and only him) that a short nap is a good idea…we will see how it goes. Or else, yeah, The Husband and I are going to have to pass the babies off so that breaks can be had!!

      I am also working on ways to get the to play quietly and independently so that I can get some work done without interruption. That’s a tall order, though! Just gotta get them to school…

  2. Dude I’m crying over heah. They are such a riot, and you are hilarious, “Ok, which one?” I was so happy you’ve become That kind of mom haha. And I looove your mother dahling. She’s sooo golden-age Hollywood in her delivery: suddenly the orchestra strings start, and all the edges get softer and start to glow haha.

    And SCORE shower curtain! That Is pretty sweet.

    Can’t wait til the in-laws come! Hope with a full house, you have a ton of love for the weekend 🙂

    Oh, I was gonna ask you, you ever think about opening a catering biz? I think you would rock the hell out of it.

    1. I’m tellin’ you! I think my next life will be running a little bed and breakfast or a small artisan retreat. I would love to serve really good food and drink for intimate occasions. That is my favorite kind of entertaining…

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