Photo: I’m a nerd. I’m not totally in love with the little quotes creator that I used, but the quote is my mantra for a week. “Fear” isn’t quite what I’m feeling. I’m trying to avoid feeling overwhelmed. If you’d never read Frank Herbert’s Dune series, you totally should.
My apartment is in shambles. Bric-a-brac of all varieties are strewn across the rooms, screaming for a box as to not be left behind. It is hard for me to think in this environment. I’m not a person who needs things to be perfectly perfect and clean all the time, but this is beyond the pale.
My toddlers, unable to express their misgivings about the apartment transforming from a (cramped) well appointed space into a (extra cramped) space filled with towers of boxes and no semblance of order. So they aren’t sleeping terribly well, and they aren’t eating very well, and their diaper clocks are all sorts of off. I can’t decide which circle of Hell I’m currently walking through, but I know I’m certainly there.
We’re putting a bid in on the house today. I drove out to it this morning with Ursa Minor in tow (Ursa Major was at his last day of playgroup) to go listen for the train. I walked around the house with Ursa Minor, thinking about the places to put flowers and trees, maybe a fence in the back,… and the train was not as loud as I feared it would be. We already live close to the commuter rail, and the sound is no more than what we already experience. It will be noticeable when the windows are open, but otherwise I think we’ll be ok.
So my realtor is on her way to the office right now to write up the offer and submit it. I can only pray that it works out this time. There are still a few hurdles to jump over, and we’re risk averse people, but we’ve decided that this is worth it. We’re taking a leap of faith.
I can only partially wrap my head around the house and the bid, seeing as there is simply so much to do here. My husband is a bit overwhelmed, which has muddled his thinking–not helpful in the least. I’m doing my best to not allow myself to be overwhelmed, else the boys won’t be taken care of and the last remaining systems of the functions of this home will grind to a halt. We have to keep pushing forward and we can’t stop until the sheets are on the beds in the new place.
I’m keeping notes of some of our best practices so as to remember some of the better strategies that we’ve employed to make this happen. Lord knows, I might be needed them again fairly soon.
Speaking of notes, I wonder if anyone came across this article in Slate about “data-driven” parenting. Please take a gander if you didn’t. The interview on NPR is also quite interesting. I actually listened to the NPR interview first before I read the original article. All I could think about while I was listen to it was the DSM-IV, which I had to read for a class in graduate school. Anxiety is a powerful thing, and Mrs. Webb admits to feeling anxious and in need of harnessing control early and often in her interview. I think that a lot of the comments on her article are a bit ridiculous (Ridiculousness? About parenting? On the internet? Get out of town!!), but I think that her lack of regard from the pushback that she’s receiving is also interesting. I’m totally down with “I don’t give a shit” response to outside commentary about parenting style. But then again, I think it’s easy to simply shrug (or get angry) and say “Well, that’s just the way I choose to parent, and I get to do what I want,” without any other sort of reflection on the feedback given. 90% of the time, people say stupid shit about raising children. People who have absolutely no idea about the context, philosophy, or vision you have for how you plan on raising your children seem to have the most to say about every little detail of how you raise them. However, there is a golden 10% of advice and/or criticism that should sometimes be heeded. I wonder if this woman should put on more of her listening ears. I just don’t think she’s doing her daughter any favors.
I can hear my boys making noise in the nursery. I’m not going to get this nap today…I needed this nap to happen. While I’m grateful for small amount of time I’ve taken to write these words and sit on my behind, my task list is glaring at me from the other side of the room.
Please send me your positive energy. I really need it this week. We’re so close to Saturday, and yet so far from being prepared.
and I need to scheme how to get some unsalted butter for Friday’s muffins. I’ve packed up my coffee maker, which was traumatic enough…but I can’t give up muffins on Friday morning, too…