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Chaos is Moving With Toddlers

4 years ago

866 words

Photo: I’m a nerd. I’m not totally in love with the little quotes creator that I used, but the quote is my mantra for a week. “Fear” isn’t quite what I’m feeling. I’m trying to avoid feeling overwhelmed. If you’d never read Frank Herbert’s Dune series, you totally should.

 

 

My apartment is in shambles. Bric-a-brac of all varieties are strewn across the rooms, screaming for a box as to not be left behind. It is hard for me to think in this environment. I’m not a person who needs things to be perfectly perfect and clean all the time, but this is beyond the pale.

My toddlers, unable to express their misgivings about the apartment transforming from a (cramped) well appointed space into a (extra cramped) space filled with towers of boxes and no semblance of order. So they aren’t sleeping terribly well, and they aren’t eating very well, and their diaper clocks are all sorts of off. I can’t decide which circle of Hell I’m currently walking through, but I know I’m certainly there.

We’re putting a bid in on the house today. I drove out to it this morning with Ursa Minor in tow (Ursa Major was at his last day of playgroup) to go listen for the train. I walked around the house with Ursa Minor, thinking about the places to put flowers and trees, maybe a fence in the back,… and the train was not as loud as I feared it would be. We already live close to the commuter rail, and the sound is no more than what we already experience. It will be noticeable when the windows are open, but otherwise I think we’ll be ok.

So my realtor is on her way to the office right now to write up the offer and submit it. I can only pray that it works out this time. There are still a few hurdles to jump over, and we’re risk averse people, but we’ve decided that this is worth it. We’re taking a leap of faith.

I can only partially wrap my head around the house and the bid, seeing as there is simply so much to do here. My husband is a bit overwhelmed, which has muddled his thinking–not helpful in the least. I’m doing my best to not allow myself to be overwhelmed, else the boys won’t be taken care of and the last remaining systems of the functions of this home will grind to a halt. We have to keep pushing forward and we can’t stop until the sheets are on the beds in the new place.

I’m keeping notes of some of our best practices so as to remember some of the better strategies that we’ve employed to make this happen. Lord knows, I might be needed them again fairly soon.

Speaking of notes, I wonder if anyone came across this article in Slate about “data-driven” parenting. Please take a gander if you didn’t. The interview on NPR is also quite interesting. I actually listened to the NPR interview first before I read the original article. All I could think about while I was listen to it was the DSM-IV, which I had to read for a class in graduate school. Anxiety is a powerful thing, and Mrs. Webb admits to feeling anxious and in need of harnessing control early and often in her interview. I think that a lot of the comments on her article are a bit ridiculous (Ridiculousness? About parenting? On the internetGet out of town!!), but I think that her lack of regard from the pushback that she’s receiving is also interesting. I’m totally down with “I don’t give a shit” response to outside commentary about parenting style. But then again, I think it’s easy to simply shrug (or get angry) and say “Well, that’s just the way I choose to parent, and I get to do what I want,” without any other sort of reflection on the feedback given. 90% of the time, people say stupid shit about raising children. People who have absolutely no idea about the context, philosophy, or vision you have for how you plan on raising your children seem to have the most to say about every little detail of how you raise them. However, there is a golden 10% of advice and/or criticism that should sometimes be heeded. I wonder if this woman should put on more of her listening ears. I just don’t think she’s doing her daughter any favors.

I can hear my boys making noise in the nursery. I’m not going to get this nap today…I needed this nap to happen. While I’m grateful for small amount of time I’ve taken to write these words and sit on my behind, my task list is glaring at me from the other side of the room.

Please send me your positive energy. I really need it this week. We’re so close to Saturday, and yet so far from being prepared.

and I need to scheme how to get some unsalted butter for Friday’s muffins. I’ve packed up my coffee maker, which was traumatic enough…but I can’t give up muffins on Friday morning, too…

14 Replies to “Chaos is Moving With Toddlers”

    1. Thank you, thank you and THANK YOU! 🙂 Loved the photos from Yellow Stone, by the by! Makes me want to take a road trip!!
      (With what time?)
      (With what money??)
      (I’m obviously delirious)

    1. Grandchildren? GRANDCHILDREN!?!?! I can barely get past the [CRASH] [SCREAM] “Uh oh!” of two active boys!
      and here we are three days ago, and The Husband is like “Maybe we should try for the girl next year?”
      I can’t think past the next 20 minutes let alone next year!

      I know that this, too, shall pass. But LORD….I’d love for it to pass sooner!

      1. You got to two KC .. that’s a big milestone. I’m still contemplating the possibility of having a second one with so much fear!! I have the utmost respect for those that it to no.2, 3 or even 4 children! You’re gonna do great. Good luck!!

        1. Melanie has **9**!!! She’s the REAL hero up in here. My two are NOTHING compared to that!

          I’ve heard rumors that 3 is the sanity tipping point. That women who have 3 kids are *extremely* unhappy, but then you bump up to 4 and it’s ok again. I don’t want 4 kids… but my husband keeps pestering me for this little girl. But I’ve ALSO heard that women who have 2 of the same gender the first go rounds are more likely to produce the same gender for the 3rd….

  1. I just recently started to follow your blog and I must say that even though I am not a mother of any child (yet) (Im still a student..so ill better wait for my studies to finish first..;)) I am still enjoying your daily adventures of juggling a household, twins(?) and the extraordinary side of raising biracial kids..It is definitely not an easy task but I think you’re doing a great job!! Being a mother, a parent and a woman in general is not easy..;) Keeping all those features is more than difficult..haha. Good luck with the moving!!!!

    1. Thank you for reading! You are too kind!! My boys are “twins” in a sense… they are 15 months apart.

      You are so right, all of these identities and responsibilities are a LOT. I need a vacation like, now. I remember being a student, though, and that was no joke either. Are you studying fashion (going by your screen name?) or something else? I’ll tell you what: I didn’t know how good I had it when I was a student. I now totally understand why there are some people who try to stay in school for as long as humanly possible. 🙂

      Best of luck with your studies and I’m so grateful that you are reading my blog!!

      1. You are too sweet! I like being inspired by people who are strong-willed and live their life to the ‘fullest’ despite societal pressures , prejudices and other smartass-opinions;) And being a (young) woman myself (okay Im not thatttt young either (27)hehe) makes one think of the near future and how I would raise my own kids and juggle a family, my boyfriend eh husband(hopefully^^) and keeping my identity as a woman too. So your blog definitely inspires me in all those things.. uh it’s getting too philosophical..hehe.. Anyway.. I’m studying cultural anthropology and American studies, so my connection to other cultures and people and thus the interest for the latter:)) Ill keep following your blog and follow you on your personal journey of raising young and most definitely adorable little boys and being a mother, wife and foremost a confident woman:)

  2. I’m about to embark on moving with a toddler – I finished packing the first round of boxes and all of a sudden she picked up a new (almost cute?) habit of hitting me when she gets excited… I’m trying to minimize disruption as much as possible, but I’m pretty sure the definition of toddlerhood is “the experience of being disrupted.” Good luck getting your boys settled into your new place.

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