The boys didn’t nap today. As I type this, they are in the play area temporarily not paying attention to me. I know that this moment is incredibly fleeting. Eventually one will piss of the other, and I’l be refereeing again.
Though I know that the two of them are tired, they chose to play and not sleep. Eventually, this turned into Ursa Minor screaming and screeching, his new favorite thing to do.
I’d love a cure for the screeching. It is blood curdling. He does it when he’s excited, he does it when he wants attention, he does it when he is mad. It is at a decibel that really does hurt the ears. Yesterday I reached a space where I really thought I was going to lose it. I thought I was going to end up hurting myself or others, because I just couldn’t take another hour of it. When The Husband got home, I simply picked myself up, walked into our bedroom, and shut the door for a half hour. I could. not. handle it.
I know that childhood has phases, and I know that this, too, shall pass. But this phase really does suck on an acute level. I have a lot of patience and understanding, I have strategies galore, and I’m usually “that mom” who is generally calm under pressure…but yesterday and probably today, I’m a mom at the end of her rope.
Ursa Major is pushing boundaries and rebelling in a way that only a two year-old can. Having taught middle school for 6 years, I know how to deal with that. It doesn’t make it less annoying, but at least I know some tried and true strategies to keep things moving. But dealing with the rebellious two-year-old and the screeching infant has really been mind numbing.
I wish that I had more to add today, but I simply don’t have the energy for it. As it is, Ursa Major’s Early Intervention person is coming in an hour, and she is going to slow down my busiest time of day. I am sick of jelly beans and I would like to bake cookies…we’ll see how that turns out.
And there is still dinner to make.
and at least 3 loads of laundry to do.
I also have my 2 EdX courses that I’d really like to get to tonight. I’m quite officially behind.
I like being busy, and on some levels, I like being exhausted: I feel like my days are full and that I’ve been using my precious days well (not necessarily efficiently, but well). It just sucks when I know that a lot of my energy is currently being used just to maintain even temperament when the boys become challenging. There are just so many other tasks that my energy could be used towards..
I really hope to have a happier post on Friday. Looking for some positive energy.
And if someone has suggestions about how I can stop my youngest from screeching (I don’t care about crying. It isn’t about that. It is about that particular noise.) then I would really appreciate it!